Tag Archives: relationships

First Person Accounts About What It’s Like To Live With M.E.

Well-known law prof battles stigma of chronic fatigue syndrome by going public

For many who suffer from chronic fatigue syndrome, stigma is the worst aspect of the illness.

People suffering from the syndrome, also known as myalgic encephalomyelitis [M.E.], have been treated as malingerers and met with disbelief, according to Northwestern University law professor Steven Lubet. Many have been referred to psychiatrists.

“I am often essentially immobile, with other debilitating symptoms as well,” Lubet writes. “On days when no one sees or hears from me, it is most likely because I am housebound or bedbound. Sometimes it is impossible to manage the keyboard.”

All my fellow bloggers who follow this blog, are aware that I advocate for M.E. (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis).  When I come across, in my internet wanderings, some information that I believe will help others to understand what life is like when suffering with this chronic illness, I am forced to share it.

blue ribbon for me

I was struck by the “true-to-life” commentary by an M.E. patient, known as “Carol.”  She tells what her life is like since she came down with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (M.E.).  After reading her comment at the bottom of the article, I decided to post it here.  It shows what the quality of life (QOL) is like when a patient lives with M.E. and includes family and friend relationships:

It is appreciated when anyone with a higher profile [Prof. Lubet] speaks out in regard to their experience with me/cfs. I so relate to the point about not being seen for a day or so because of being bedridden or homebound. It’s a delicate balance of coping, energy reserving, and prioritizing. I too acquired this illness in 2006, diagnosed by Dr. Bruce Carruthers in 2007. Up until now I have reserved most of my energy to work a week on week off jobshare but it is becoming more and more difficult. I see my house becoming more and more cluttered as I no longer have any energy to do even the important ( to me) tasks around the house. We eat out more often and I am less and less motivated to find something different to wear to work or make sure my nails are “done”. To the general public or unenlightened physicians this may seem like symptoms of depression, however I know that it really is just a lack of energy. Does anyone else have mental desires to do things but just cannot physically do them ? Support is always lacking, some friends and family have been pretty good, others that think you should be cured by now.. but there are some family that think I just don’t look after myself and that I suffer from depression. Very frustrating when I try to explain the difference as they claim to have read up about me/cfs and declare that I am just making excuses for not seeking a psychologist/medication to treat my “depression”. One of my children has chosen to “detach” from me because they just find me too negative ( because there are things I cannot do ) and an excuse maker. That my sometimes garbled words or poor memory just make me unlovable “until” I choose to seek help for my “problem”.

 

[Image from bingdotcom]

 

Did You Know Your Relationships Affect Your Health?

I came across an article about a class that was given at Stanford University.  It is about the relationships between husband and wife and between women, with the emphasis on the positives that come out of relationships among women friends, and how the relationships affect their health.  I believe it bears sharing, so here it is:

In an evening class at Stanford, the lecture was on the mind-body connection – the relationship between stress, disease and health.  The speaker (head of psychiatry at Stanford) said, among other things, that one of the best things that a man could do for his health is to be married to a woman with whom he is happy; whereas, for a woman, one of the best things she could do for her health was to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends.

women talk

At first everyone laughed, but he was serious.

Women connect with each other differently.  They provide support systems that help each other to deal with stress and difficult life experiences.  Physically this quality “girlfriend time” helps women to create more serotonin – a neurotransmitter – that helps combat depression and can create a general feeling of well being.

Women share feelings; whereas, men often form relationships around activities.  They rarely sit down with a buddy and talk about how they feel about certain things or how their personal lives are going.  Jobs?  Yes.  Sports?  Yes.  Cars?  Yes.  Fishing, hunting, golf?  Yes.  But their feelings?  Rarely.

men playing golf

Women do it all of the time.  They share from their souls with their sisters, mothers, close friends and evidently that is very good for their health.

The lecturer said that when women spend time with a friend, it is just as important to their general health as jogging or working out at a gym.

There’s a tendency to think that when people are “exercising,” they are doing something good for their bodies, and when we are hanging out with friends, we are wasting our time and should be more productively engaged.  This is not true.  In fact, he said that failure to create and maintain quality personal relationships with other humans is as dangerous to our physical health as smoking!

So every time you hang out to schmooze with a gal pal, just pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for doing something good for your health!  Women are indeed very, very lucky.

Sooooo… let’s toast to our friendship with our girlfriends.  Evidently it’s very good for our health.

 

[images from bingdotcom]

 

 

Abusive Relationships

Excellent advice from someone who has been there.

Jessie Jeanine

Ladies, if you have to question whether or not you are in an abusive relationship… then you probably are. I’m not just talking about dating relationships either, because sometimes we have friendships that are just as controlling and demeaning. The dynamics are the same between the victim and the abuser – it doesn’t matter if you’re married, same-sex friends, or family.

If you are trapped in an abusive and manipulating cycle with someone, especially one with an overly narcissistic personality, then you need to get out – NOW! You are worth so much more than allowing yourself to be someone else’s scapegoat (I don’t care if they claim to be your BFF or not.) Yes, it may be an emotionally difficult thing to go through, but please remember…

If you survived the abuse,
you can survive the healing too.

Internal Conflicts

Personally, I wear my heart on my sleeve and…

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