Tag Archives: life

Woman To Woman

 

I occasionally visit with a young (approximately 40) married woman who works hard, gives her family all the love she can muster and show them, and with determination and focus, keeping her family together.  She practices her chosen profession part time.  Two exceptional teenage girls, two adorable dogs and a needy (her word) husband complete the family.  We’ve known each other for approximately 16 years.

We’ve had many conversations about life, love, children, the trials and tribulations of young motherhood, loss of loved ones, and getting older, to name a few topics.

Yesterday, the topics were hormones, maturity, marriage and frustrations of daily living.  A seemingly incongruous combination.  Or is it?  I will call her Ellen for the purpose of this post.

It all began when, as usual, in her caring voice, Ellen asked me how I was.  That’s all the impetus needed to get me started.  I began by telling her I was feeling very good for a senior citizen – no complaints – good health.  I have interests and social friends that keep me busy and intellectually engaged.  I continued by saying, “I’m satisfied with my life the way it is now – I wouldn’t say I’m happy all of the time – happiness is a fleeting thing – emotions come and go – ups and downs – it’s impossible to feel happy all the time.”  This seemed to have hit a nerve with her.

Ellen unburdened herself to me.  Her life was in a state of flux:  Her girls were the most important part of her life, and she expends so much love, time and energy to make sure they are receiving the best start in life she and her husband could give them; all the while planning for their further education.  There is a “however.”  She feels her life is missing things that would make her happy – she wants more than “satisfied.”

Ellen believes she has three children, not two.  Husband is the third.  Not to say that he doesn’t work hard and has assumed a tremendous responsibility in supporting his family; he works long hours and expends much energy in his work.  However, there is a disconnect.  He is not the partner she would prefer – he is not really a partner in the marriage – she feels like she is carrying the whole marriage on her shoulders and there isn’t that total dependency she would like to have with him.  Dependency for emotional support and dependency for being able to rely on him as a full partner in the relationship – which she believes he isn’t.  He is distant and absorbed in his own thoughts.

I suggested counseling.  They did have some, years ago, when there was some problems (probably same ones she is talking about).

I suggested having a “date night” once a week or every two weeks, to get “back on track.”  Ellen didn’t have a positive attitude about that, and gave me a response that she didn’t think it would help.

I suggested that hormones could be helping to make her feel less satisfied with her life as it is now.  She was at a time when menopause comes into the picture.

Ellen was clearly despondent about her situation.  She would love to be “fulfilled.”  She would like to work more hours, now that the girls are not babies, and she believes she can depend upon them to be responsible for a short time alone at home.

After leaving Ellen and on my way home, I was shaking my head mentally.  She sounded like me when I was in the throes of the demands upon me when my children were young.  Unlike her, though, and luckily for me, I had a husband who was a true partner in the relationship.  I could depend upon him for anything – emotionally, physically, intellectually; he was supportive in all ways.

I will be visiting Ellen again within a couple of weeks, and I hope she will be feeling better.  We all suffer lows – as mentioned above – life is a succession of highs and lows.  We do not stagnate, for sure, and if anyone says they’re happy all the time, they’re full of crap.  Just my opinion.

 

[ Header image from http://www.freewebheaders.com ]

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Profoundness In Aisle 5

I am happy to reblog Cher’s lovely post regarding profoundness, on her blog, “The Chicago Files.”  Openness and self-awareness come into play here, also. Please give your experiences with kindness and how others’ or your own, have “made your day.”

The Chicago Files

Kindness Quote

The other day I wrote a post regarding the way our perceptions can lead to assumptions which may or may not be correct.  Quite often our assumptions are based on our own biases and life experiences.

After writing the post, I started thinking about how often we allow the actions and words of others to affect our moods, our feelings, and generally, our experiences.  If someone makes a negative, inaccurate assumption about us, logically we can tell ourselves, oh, that’s just them; they don’t know what they are talking about.

But if we allow it to somehow become personal, thinking that something about us isn’t quite right, we really do ourselves a disservice in carrying a burden that truly doesn’t belong to us.

Several months ago I was in a store in downtown Chicago.  I hadn’t been in this particular store before, so I wasn’t quite sure where this, that…

View original post 498 more words

Hands Transplant

 

A testament to dedicated, unbelievable surgeons, nurses and medical community and the courage of a little boy.

Warning:  Surgery is performed in this video, but just a little can be viewed.

If this isn’t inspirational, I don’t know what is:

 

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes…

 

A shared article on my Facebook page touched me so deeply, that I had to share it with my WordPress readers:

A Dog’s Purpose?
(according to a 6-year-old).

Boy with Wolfhound

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife Lisa , and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn’t do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker ‘s family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker’s Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.
Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ”I know why.”

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I’d never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the way I try and live.

He said,”People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life — like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?” The Six-year-old continued,

”Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.”

  • Live simply.
  • Love generously.
  • Care deeply.
  • Speak kindly.
  • Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:
  • When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
  • Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
  • Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
  • Take naps.
  • Stretch before rising.
  • Run, romp, and play daily.
  • Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
  • Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
  • On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
  • On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.\
  • When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
  • Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
  • Be loyal.
  • Never pretend to be something you’re not.
  • When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

There comes a time in life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad, and focus on the good.  So, love the people who treat you right.  Think good thoughts for the ones who don’t.  Life is too short to be anything but happy.  Falling down is part of LIFE…Getting back up is LIVING…

~ Source: Ultima National Resources, LLC

Simile: Life’s Clock

 

I was going through some drawers today, trying to consolidate and get rid of whatever I really didn’t need.  I gain a certain satisfaction in doing this.  I don’t like clutter – even the clutter that is hidden from view.

Much to my surprise, I found an old poem of mine that I wrote when only 19.  While reading it, it made me realize how thoughtful and serious about life I was at that young age.  Second surprise.

 

clock

 

SIMILE:  LIFE’S CLOCK

One of the most worrisome

Questions of them all

Is:  Who dares to take from

That imperious clock on the wall,

Flagrantly, the right or the might,

If I may with permission add,

To capture the Seasons or Day’s light;

And finding none about this glad?

Now, as it comes to my bother,

I find that each and every

One of us, in one way or another,

For no reason or for every,

Is attempting the utilization

Of this time force

To find only sheer futilization

And, the agony of loss

In the repression of active mind:

Of full hopes; brave dreams; and pure souls.

So we sit:  we turn and wind;

Trying to perceive far-away goals.

Why does one to no avail

Conceive and plan without some cares

For we servants, who shall fail

Our future mark; cursed by he who dares?

Time is neither girl nor man:

At dawn, it’s naive and new;

At dusk, it’s a wizened broad hand,

Sweeping out remnants of a life we knew.

Life is to fate as fate is to life:

We are all of us destined to an end.

There is goodness and yes there is strife;

Whatever, the hands of the clock an eternity lend.

~ Carol Carlson

[image from bingdotcom]

 

 

Today And Every Day Is A Special Occasion

The national and global news and “breaking news” rains down upon us all, drowning us with the greatest deluge ever of negatives!  Let’s step back for a moment and think about a most important basic:

special occasion

 

This Cat Knows The Good Life!

Found this on Twitter.  Just had to post it.

Wishing everyone a New Year with a “bowl full of cherries.”  This cat is enjoying his life!

bowl full of cherries

Let the Sun Shine Through!

Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.

side Birthdays are good Living on Earth

Eeyore Has Special Friends

Came across this beautiful quote and just had to share it.

EeyoreImportant message for us all.

A Story of Friendship

Tomorrow, my friend Marian, is coming to visit me. She will be staying for 9 days.  She lives in Connecticut, and this visit was planned LONG before there was the polar vortex that made its latest appearance.

Marian’s original plan was to fly to Miami on last Thursday to visit her son and his family before coming to stay with me on Monday (tomorrow).  So, when that storm made its few passes in the northeast, of course all flights were cancelled, and my Marian, as did many others, had to scramble to get another flight to South Florida.  She was successful and has already landed this evening in Miami and will have her shortened visit with her family.

Marian and I grew up together.  We lived across the street from each other in Brooklyn while we were teenagers.  We hung out together a lot, and double-dated many times.  We were really close friends.  Then, she got married and moved to Connecticut, and a year later, I got married to the guy who lived “down the block.”  It was a close-knit community.  As can happen, people sometimes lose touch when life gets complicated.

We hooked up again through a mutual friend whom I hadn’t contacted in 45 years(!), whose son I found on Facebook.  It’s a convoluted thing.  The long and the short is that life has its strange twists and turns and we can end up traveling a full circle if we’re lucky!

Image

And tomorrow, we close that little space in our life’s circle.