Tag Archives: friendship

On The Way To Papa’s Tapas

 

I participate in a small group of senior ladies, numbering between 5 and 8, depending on who can make it.  We make a concerted effort to get together the last Thursday evening of the month to go out to dinner.  Yesterday, our designated driver picked up 4 ladies (including myself) in her SUV.

Now, we are not your “everyday-type” of senior ladies.  We are all special in our own ways, and stand out because of our very personal individual characteristics.  We treasure each other because of, and in spite of, these.  A sense of humor is most important!

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One lady sits in the back and must get in on the driver’s side where she finds it easier to enter; another must sit in the front passenger seat; the thinnest of the group sits in the middle so she can get the full brunt of the a/c vent, and then I’m left to sit behind the front passenger seat.  Throw in aching, painful back problems, difficulty in walking, difficulty in getting in and exiting the car, and with three of us using canes to assist in walking, we were a fine, healthy bunch of women.  Toss in young at heart and a keen sense of humor, and you have the makings of a great pot of senior ladies’ soup.

Oh yes, we mustn’t forget about Ms. Driver.  We are aware of her strong driving personality.  We all brace ourselves by holding on to the handles above the doors; grasping the door wherever we can find a finger-hold; and not to mention gripping the backs of the front seats to steady ourselves – particularly when going over bumps, train tracks and most importantly, getting ready to stop at a traffic light or stop sign.

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Ms. Driver is a very thoughtful woman and has a heart of gold; however, when she’s behind the wheel, we all hold our breath.  We take it all in stride.  Even though some teeth-mashing occurs, we always seem to arrive safely and in one piece.

This evening, we weren’t so sure about arriving at the restaurant in one piece, due to an incident that occurred when we were only one block from our destination.

We had to slow down because a man was walking a motorcycle in the middle of the road.  He didn’t seem to notice the sound of the car’s motor, and had no awareness about our wanting to continue down the street.  So, Ms. Driver blasted the horn.

The man turned, looked very upset, and left his motorcycle where it was, came over to the side of our vehicle with an angry face, yelled something unintelligible and threw his fist at the car.  It landed on the post between the front and back windows.  Hard!  We thought he must have broken his hand, or at least, dented the car.

Properly frightened, we sure were. What if he had a weapon in addition to his fist?

Ms. Driver was able to scoot around his motorcycle.  We kept watch, looking  back, worrying that he might get on the motorcycle and do something dangerous and irrational which would cause us harm.

We finally drove into the lot in front of the restaurant, parked, and Ms. Driver had her finger over her phone, ready to call the police. We continued keeping an eye out for that crazy guy, exited the car and hurried in.  We didn’t take our eyes off that guy.  We could see that he was looking up and down the street, obviously searching to see where we went.  He evidently didn’t see that we pulled into the lot.  Finally, we saw him walking his motorcycle down the street.  He passed us by.

Don’t you think we kept looking outside while in the restaurant, to see if he would come back?  Of course.

It was an exciting evening in more ways than expected; one, I believe, we will be talking about for a long time.

 

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At This Time Of Year

 

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Remember to reach out to those living with illness and pain especially during this time of the year.  It can be a very lonely and isolated time for them. Give them a call, a smile, a hand, a hug and an encouraging word that shows you care.

I doubt there is no one who could use an extra dose of caring from a friend, a relative and yes, even from a stranger.

Speaking personally, the month of December has proven to be a very difficult month every year.  It is the month when I lost both my husbands who I deeply loved.  December anniversaries and events keep running through my mind.

I don’t look forward to this time of year and wish it would hurry along, so that the new year may begin with feelings of freshness and hope for a better year.

 

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Desk Buddies

They have come a long way in their friendship.

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Many times during the day, I leave my desk to perform chores of one kind or another, and today, when I came back into my office, guess who I found lying very comfortably on my desk?  None other than my two sweet Exotics.

Every so often, they decide to be buddies (for a short time), especially when it’s on Mom’s desk so she can’t get back to work!

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A Truce On The Rug

Toleration is better.

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Romeo and Patches only tolerate each other as a rule; however, the other day I happened to catch them comfortably sharing the rug that is mostly Patches’ territory.

As long as Romeo isn’t hitting Patches on top of her head with his paw, I guess she’s OK with his “invading” her “property.”  Romeo is still being careful.  He’s using just a corner of the rug.

What a surprise.  A truce is in progress here.

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The Friday File – Synchronicity & Compassion on Route #92

My friend, Cher, posted this beautiful story. I believe it should be shared again and again. Love for one another is still going strong among strangers.

The Chicago Files

Compassion

It’s been a very interesting week here in Chicago.  A few days ago, I was about to take my usual train to a location that is approximately one hour from our area.  Upon approaching the train station, I noticed a bus nearby.  That particular bus also travels in the direction I was heading, but rarely do I take it.  For reasons unbeknownst to me at that moment, I found myself walking up and onto the bus!  Okay, I’ll go with it and see what the day brings.  Traveling by train or bus in Chicago can afford you the time to listen to your favorite music, stare out the window, read, or simply ‘veg’ as my mother likes to say when relaxing.

I was listening to my IPod (yes, I still use one of those!) when there was a slight pause before the next song started.  We were at a bus…

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Dog and Dolphin Friendship

This morning, I found a delightful video of two unlikely friends:  a friendly pooch and a fascinating porpoise in the ocean.  The porpoise saves the dog’s life more than once.

It’s a lovely, sunny, blue-skyed day here in South Florida, and this video added, in my mind, some of those small, puffy clouds I love, topping off the morning for me.

Very well done.  You will enjoy it.

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Woman To Woman

 

I occasionally visit with a young (approximately 40) married woman who works hard, gives her family all the love she can muster and show them, and with determination and focus, keeping her family together.  She practices her chosen profession part time.  Two exceptional teenage girls, two adorable dogs and a needy (her word) husband complete the family.  We’ve known each other for approximately 16 years.

We’ve had many conversations about life, love, children, the trials and tribulations of young motherhood, loss of loved ones, and getting older, to name a few topics.

Yesterday, the topics were hormones, maturity, marriage and frustrations of daily living.  A seemingly incongruous combination.  Or is it?  I will call her Ellen for the purpose of this post.

It all began when, as usual, in her caring voice, Ellen asked me how I was.  That’s all the impetus needed to get me started.  I began by telling her I was feeling very good for a senior citizen – no complaints – good health.  I have interests and social friends that keep me busy and intellectually engaged.  I continued by saying, “I’m satisfied with my life the way it is now – I wouldn’t say I’m happy all of the time – happiness is a fleeting thing – emotions come and go – ups and downs – it’s impossible to feel happy all the time.”  This seemed to have hit a nerve with her.

Ellen unburdened herself to me.  Her life was in a state of flux:  Her girls were the most important part of her life, and she expends so much love, time and energy to make sure they are receiving the best start in life she and her husband could give them; all the while planning for their further education.  There is a “however.”  She feels her life is missing things that would make her happy – she wants more than “satisfied.”

Ellen believes she has three children, not two.  Husband is the third.  Not to say that he doesn’t work hard and has assumed a tremendous responsibility in supporting his family; he works long hours and expends much energy in his work.  However, there is a disconnect.  He is not the partner she would prefer – he is not really a partner in the marriage – she feels like she is carrying the whole marriage on her shoulders and there isn’t that total dependency she would like to have with him.  Dependency for emotional support and dependency for being able to rely on him as a full partner in the relationship – which she believes he isn’t.  He is distant and absorbed in his own thoughts.

I suggested counseling.  They did have some, years ago, when there was some problems (probably same ones she is talking about).

I suggested having a “date night” once a week or every two weeks, to get “back on track.”  Ellen didn’t have a positive attitude about that, and gave me a response that she didn’t think it would help.

I suggested that hormones could be helping to make her feel less satisfied with her life as it is now.  She was at a time when menopause comes into the picture.

Ellen was clearly despondent about her situation.  She would love to be “fulfilled.”  She would like to work more hours, now that the girls are not babies, and she believes she can depend upon them to be responsible for a short time alone at home.

After leaving Ellen and on my way home, I was shaking my head mentally.  She sounded like me when I was in the throes of the demands upon me when my children were young.  Unlike her, though, and luckily for me, I had a husband who was a true partner in the relationship.  I could depend upon him for anything – emotionally, physically, intellectually; he was supportive in all ways.

I will be visiting Ellen again within a couple of weeks, and I hope she will be feeling better.  We all suffer lows – as mentioned above – life is a succession of highs and lows.  We do not stagnate, for sure, and if anyone says they’re happy all the time, they’re full of crap.  Just my opinion.

 

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Memories of the Snowstorm – Winter 1956-1957

 

My Mom and sister had gone on ahead with some friends earlier in the day, and my Dad waited for me to finish my classes on Friday, at Kings County Hospital School of Nursing.

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It had started to lightly snow in Brooklyn when I got into the car on that cold, blustery early evening.  We had a long trip ahead of us, and Dad told me that he was glad that Mom and Merry went on ahead, because he was a little uneasy about what was expected along the way, weather-wise.  But, he was confident that we would make it.  I think back now about that remark, because I’m not sure if he said it to reassure me or to reassure himself.

We were headed into the Catskills.  There was a place that we had gone to before, so Dad knew the way.  Good thing.

Of course, we were caught in the Friday evening traffic – although, it was lighter than it would have been; probably due to the weather forecast.  But, we got onto the highway after going through Manhattan, and we were on our way for an enjoyable weekend outing!

As soon as we got onto the mountain roads, things changed.  The snow was coming down very heavily, and the wind was pushing it at the windshield.  The wipers couldn’t go fast enough, and I don’t know about Dad, but I was very nervous.  He was quiet, so I guess he was feeling the same way.  We could hardly see.  We were blindfolded.

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Fortunately, there was no problem with the car itself – Dad believed in taking good care of the quality engines for his vehicles; however, it was too bad that the weather didn’t believe in good quality, human-friendly weather at that time.  We forgot to put in our reservation for that.

We had some breath-holding moments, for sure, but after about 3 hours, we finally arrived safely, if not very tired, at our destination:  Rosenberg’s Hotel.

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The cheapest one around:  only $5 per person, including clean rooms, clean toilets, and brunch and dinner each day.  We all had a ball!

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A Big Thank You To All

followed-blog-200-2xI was very surprised when I opened my computer today.  WordPress sent me a congratulatory notice.

I had no idea so many bloggers thought that my blog was worth following.

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My Bucket List of Gratitude – By Lisa Gastaldo

When help is needed, good friends come through without being asked.

Kindness Blog

bucket listI’m creating my own kind of bucket list. Not the usual listing of things I wish to do before I leave this earth, but an accounting of the gracious drops of kindness that have filled my pail to the brim.

Whether the contribution was a single drip from an eyedropper or gallons upon gallons of generosity, all have buoyed my soul, washed away hours of pain, and carried me through turbulent trials.

And so I have decided to make a conscious effort to recognize these not-so-random acts. Some were as temporary as the morning dew, but equaling as cooling. Others have been like IVs, injecting nourishment continually. A few were summer storms: electrifying, powerful, and brief. Whether their perpetrators knew it or not, each and every one made a significant impact. They quenched my drought in spirit and left me flooded with gratitude.

Item Number 1: Clean House – Warm…

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