Wikipedia defines “virtue” as:
Virtue (Latin: virtus, Ancient Greek: ἀρετή “arete“) is moralexcellence. A virtue is a positive trait or quality deemed to be morally good and thus is valued as a foundation of principle and good moral being.
A new year; a new vision. Can “forgiveness” be one of my new year resolutions? Or, maybe my only new year resolution? Am I ready for being virtuous when it comes to forgiveness?
Over these many years – maybe 50 or more – I have not had the moral strength to forgive two very important people in my life, now deceased. What makes a person important to someone? Having a great impact on someone’s life, whether positive or negative, is what makes that person(s) important.
My first husband, Danny, was a smoker. I hated the smoking; everything else about him, I loved – deeply. He promised he would quit smoking after we were married. I believed him, and in my innocence of not having any idea what it meant to quit smoking, I agreed to marry him.
I held onto my anger and resentment all through the marriage; however, trying very hard to not let them come to the surface and take over the wonderful aspects of our relationship. I know I succeeded in keeping those negative feelings below the surface and I allowed myself to enjoy and bask in his love. But, he knew the truth. And, looking back now, I believe he felt guilty every time he lit up, especially when we spent time together.
Shortly before Danny died, he apologized and said to me, “I know the cigarettes did me in.” I didn’t forgive him then, but I did tell him I loved him – which was the truth, of course.
Danny, I forgive you now, love. You couldn’t stop smoking, even though you tried several times.
Jerry was my father. He was born in Manhattan and brought up in Brooklyn, in the early part of the 20th century. His parents had several children – he was sort of in the middle – and he was a tough, bully of a kid, as I was told.
The household was quite a dysfunctional one. There was no warmth and love between his parents; nor for the children. Mother and father separated after the kids came along.
Mom and Dad met in the sand on a Brooklyn beach, due to mistaken identity. Mom wasn’t wearing her glasses, and, coming back from the concession stand, thought Dad was one of those in her crowd. She called his name (the same name as one of the guys in her crowd), and Dad, who was strumming a ukelele while entertaining the group he was with, turned and immediately fell in love.
Long story short, living with Dad was not easy. He had a terrible temper when he didn’t get his way, and showed it in ways that weren’t so nice. He was a blot on my mother’s family, who were genteel, respectful and warm and loving. Try as they might, even to the extent of throwing him out of their home (didn’t want their daughter marrying him), they tried to discourage their daughter from seeing him. It didn’t work.
After Mom died, his behavior didn’t improve towards his daughters, and there were some spats, to put it mildly – at one point, we estranged ourselves.
Dad, I forgive you now. You never understood and were not given the tools you needed, in order to understand.
My inspiration for this post came from “Psychologistmimi.”
Thanks to my friends from Tower Hill Insurance Group!
If you are short on time but still have a long to-do list, try these last-minute tips to make holiday guests feel welcome.
First things first. Make a great first impression by having your porch or entryway well-lit and decorated for the season. If you have a temperamental doorbell, be sure it is repaired before your guests arrive so they are not accidentally left out in the cold.
Home sweet guestroom. Just a few thoughtful touches will make your guests feel welcome even if the “guest room” is also your home office. Add fresh flowers, comfortable bedding and pillows, plus reading material they may like. Clear space in the closet and use a luggage rack or ottoman for the suitcase.
Guest baskets & trays. In the bathroom include a welcome basket with toiletries that may have been forgotten in the rush of last-minute packing. Ear plugs are great to include, especially if your guests are not accustomed to noisy pets (or kids) or your next-door neighbor who mows the lawn before breakfast.
Not sure if your guests are early birds or night owls? Just in case, add a tray in the kitchen filled with coffee or hot tea, breakfast snacks and holiday goodies.
Pets and kids. If your guests are not used to either two-legged or four-legged little ones, here are some quick fixes before your guests arrive. Wash the dog, clean the kitty-litter box, and pick up everyone’s toys so your guests do not accidentally trip.
I hope these suggestions will come in handy!! 😀
Many years ago, when I lost my first husband, Danny, someone gave me a poem, thinking it would help, in some measure, to ease his passing. It was a very thoughtful gesture; however, at the time, I couldn’t fully appreciate its power.
I do now. Danny, it was twenty-two years ago today, when you passed into another dimension. It is today, and every day hereafter, that I can appreciate the power of this poem. It is as if you were speaking to me:
When I must leave you
For a little while–
Please do not grieve
And shed wild tears;
And hug your sorrow to you
Through the years.
But start out bravely
With a gallant smile;
And for my sake
And in my name
Live on and do
All things the same.
Feed not your loneliness
On empty days;
But fill each waking hour
In useful ways.
Reach out your hand
In comfort and in cheer
And I in turn will comfort you
And hold you near;
And never, never
Be afraid to die,
For I am waiting for you in the sky!
December has different meanings for different people. Excitement, happiness, celebration, life expectations, new beginnings, and end of a life (lives) as we knew it.
What does the month of December represent to me?
Going back to the year 1958, December was great cause for celebration, life expectations, and a new beginning. I married my first husband, Danny – my best friend, the father of my children. My soul mate. Yes, it is real. There really is such a thing.
December means the birth of my son. I was totally prepared for his arrival, and was joyous at his birth.
December means the month in which my now deceased granddaughter was born.
December means celebration of Hanukkah. A time to be close to family and light the Menorah and remember the discovery of one day’s oil in the biblical temple which, miraculously, lasted eight days, to keep the temple’s light burning until more oil was found.
December means the loss of my soul mate. It was expected, after many months’ illness, but when it happened, I had to cope with the great emptiness that his death left after 34 years of deep love.
December means the discovery of a new love, and a decision to devote myself to another. It was a very good decision. Bob was a special guy and very devoted to me, and I was happy with him. We had a loving relationship and there was respect for one another.
December means the loss of my Bob after more than a year’s illness. We were married for 18 1/2 years, and they were very good years. They went very fast.
December is a time for remembering: Taking stock of the past and looking forward to another year of whatever life brings. It brings surprises – the unexpected; that’s for sure.
What does December mean to you?
This is one of the most heartwarming stories/videos I’ve seen. Watch until the end. It’s beautiful.
Content Submission: The LOVELY Lucy Taylor 🙂
I loved this video. And I laughed myself silly. Hope you find it precious.
Being an autistic, especially an Aspie, can be very frustrating to that person and to all around who are experiencing frustration also. This post gives a little perspective.
Those are the times when I may not be at my best: my patience may be worn thin, and I may feel the tempting lure of what seems like a shortcut… one that ends up just making things more complex and unruly.
Tonight was one of those nights.
I was rushing H to get to bed – and he was yelling at me for rushing him. It did not go particularly well…
But H called me on it:
I am trying to advocate for myself here. I need you to listen to me.
I am having a hard time listening because you are yelling at me and I don’t like to be yelled at.
Well, I feel I have to yell because you are…
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Sweetness and softness and remembering. This is a most lovely song.
Especially to my loves who are physically lost to me. We will meet again, but in the meantime, know that you are all in my heart today and always.
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